I can blame it to my indolence in learning another blogging process, but perhaps, WordPress is just too “techie” for me, unlike Blogger.com, where blogging becomes uncomplicated and trouble-free. It is like voting for Nokia or Sony Ericsson. And I choose Nokia because Sony Ericsson, just like WordPress, is not user-friendly (and I mean it!). WordPress users reading this must be brewing with anger by now. Don’t push your button yet. This is not going to be a technical debate on which blogging technology is better.
Our behaviors and actions all boil down to familiarity of doing things. We get accustomed to places, objects, people, events, time, hobbies and what-have-you’s. While I am more of a Rogerian fan because of his concept on Self-Actualization, Burrhus Frederick Skinner was right. Behavior becomes a function of conditioning. We can learn a certain behavior if we are presented the appropriate stimuli and rewarded accordingly. It is a good thing that his Operant Conditioning theory also tells us we can unlearn them, which gives us hope to change for the better or take on a different course that is not within the confines of our security blankets.
For the past months, I have been busy looking for a next job in anticipation my consulting work coming to an end. I am a family man and I have to plan things ahead. My consulting work in one project has just ended today.
Last week, I pulled out the last equipment that I needed to turn over for custodianship. A few weeks earlier, I pulled the pieces of furniture out, realizing that that seemingly perfunctory task of pulling out each piece of equipment and furniture from the office is more than meets the eye. It becomes conscious that it had a psychological effect on me—called separation anxiety.
I didn’t know what was eating me. I had an assortment of emotions, actually. Was it because of the loss of a job? Well, I was not apprehensive of that because there would be another job anywhere. In fact I was just hired yesterday. Was it because of the memories of my wards? They are stored anyway. I can always retrieve them in the CPU that is my brain. Even the laughter, poignant moments, our petty and serious quarrels, and special and ordinary mundane events are still vivid in my mind and in the CDs where I stored their photos.
Perhaps it was my first time to close down a project—and alone at that! Two years ago, I went ahead of those who closed another project where I was involved, that is why I never had that feeling of actually going through the matter-of-factly and symbolic closing of the doors behind me. At least, they had each other to lean on as they all witnessed the office doors being closed and locked for the last time. There was no turning back—only moving on.
The project has become special as I was able to give it a significant part of me. But I have to let it go and move on. This is mushy but I would admit that the people I met have taken so much space in my heart. But I have to “zip” them to free some space inside, and just move on.
Just like transferring my entire blog to another hosting site, I would also be relocating to another work, where I will learn new behavior and way of doing things and establish relationships. Some parts may be lost just like how I customized my header, sidebars, links, and widgets, but more important is the fact that the vital part of me stays, and willing to be moved. In a few days, I will be hosted by another company. I will be wearing a different header, I will also customize my sidebars and establish new links in order to effectively relate to the people I would work with, but I would still be bringing my own way of thinking, my feelings, learning from life the way I observed and experience it, and I still should be able to share whatever bric-a-brac about life may come my way.