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Saturday, June 30, 2007

Beyond Forgetting

This is one of my favorite poems back in high school and it was one of the pieces we memorized in our speech class for our final practical exam. Too bad, this was not assigned to me. I did Mark Anthony's Speech for the funeral of Julius Caesar though.

I could still remember some lines:

"Friends, Romans, lend me your ears! I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them"

It was funny that I did well during the practical exam. But when I did a demo in another class, I forgot one line to the consternation of my speech class teacher.

Beyond Forgetting
by: Rolando A. Carbonell

For a moment I thought I could forget you.
For a moment I thought I could still the restlessness in my heart.
I thought the past could no longer haunt me—nor hurt me.
How wrong I was!
For the past, no matter how distant, is as much a part of me as life itself.
And you are part of that life.
You are so much a part of me—of my dreams, my early hopes, my youth and my ambitions—that in all my tasks I can’t help remembering you.
Many little delights and things remind me of you.
Yes, I came.
And would my pride mock my real feelings?
Would the love song, the sweet and lovely smile on your face, be lost among the deepening shadows?
I have wanted to be alone.
I thought I could make myself forget you in silence and in song...
And yet I remembered.
For who could forget the memory of the once lovely, the once happy world such as ours?
I came because the song that I kept through the years is waiting to be sung.
I cannot sing it without you.
The song when sung alone will lose the essence of its tune, because you and I had been one.
I have wanted this misery to end, because it is part of my restlessness.
Can’t you understand?
Can’t you divine the depth and the tenderness of my feelings towards you?
Yes, can’t you see how I suffer in this even darkness without you?
You went away because you mistook my silence for indifference.
But silence, my dear, is the language of my heart.
How could I essay the intensity of my love when silence speaks a more eloquent tone?
But, perhaps, you didn’t understand...
Remember, I came because the gnawing loneliness is there and
will not be lost until the music is sung, until the poem is heard, until the silence is understood....until you come to me again.
For you alone can blend the music and memory into one consuming ecstasy.
You alone...

5 people have commented. Leave your comments too!:

This poem has brought back so much memories of m childhood. My name is GerryCarbonell, I am a nephew of Rolando Carbonell. He is a cousine of my dad who stayed at our place in Baguio City when I was a young boy around early grade school. He left us one of his books which he himself signed and wrote a message. My mom used to read this poem to us often especially when she gets sad....and I still rememnber this poem by heart. As years passed and now with a family, I met a person here in a merica who asked me if I was related to him and I said yes, and was more suprised when I recited the poem. It brought back memories for her too when she had to recite it in her class...thanks for the good memories and sharing this poem and experience to everyone.

Thanks Gerry! I am honored to be visited by Mr. Rolando Carbonnell's nephew!

Wow. Nagulat naman ako that you have a copy of this... Sana matyempuhan ko minsan yung libro ni Rolando Carbonel sa National Bookstore. My aunt wrote down his poems and is part of her keepsakes that I have. Very lonely poem.

To Mr. Rolando Carbonell wherever you are... . I learned this poem when I was in College. During my Literature subject we were asked to orate, or to recite a poem of our choice. When I saw the handout of my professor,w/c contained your poem , I grabbed it from. told him this will be my piece. I recited with very dep feling really coming from my. I cant forget coz, I got the highest grade in our class. Until now more two decades ago. I still know the poem. Thak you so much... Really full of memories,,,Indeed beyond forgetting..

wow 1remember my high school days.i love it! feel na feel ko to.....

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